Every rider has a favorite horse — or a few.

We all have preferences. Sometimes it’s announced and known by everyone in the barn, and sometimes it’s just the one they light up around or ride with quiet confidence.

As instructors, we might hear about these preferences in ways that make us a little defensive — after all, every horse in our barn has value. But before we respond, it’s worth remembering that a rider’s preference can offer us valuable insight. When we stay curious instead of reactive, we can use that information to make better matches and more meaningful lessons.

Understanding what draws riders to specific horses helps us design experiences that support both comfort and growth — especially when riders need to work with someone new.

So let’s look at what shapes those preferences — and what we can take from them as coaches.

1. Temperament, Energy, and Personality

This is often the first thing riders notice. Some feel most at ease with calm, steady horses who don’t react to much. Others thrive with horses who have a bit of spark — or a big personality!

A horse’s temperament interacts with the rider’s energy and emotional state. A nervous rider might seek safety in a quiet horse, while an outgoing or easily distracted rider may connect with one who’s curious or expressive — or sometimes the opposite!

Preferences are also shaped by emotional resonance. A horse that helps a rider feel calm when anxious, focused when distracted, or motivated when unengaged can quickly become a favorite. Recognizing these dynamics gives instructors insight into both a rider’s regulation and the types of experiences that build confidence.

2. Comfort, Feel, and Physical Match

Body type, height, and width matter, too. What might look like favoritism could actually be a rider finding a horse whose build supports them physically. Barrel width, stride length, and overall balance (uphill vs. downhill) can make a big difference.

Movement preferences also play a role. Some riders love a smooth, slow trot that feels secure; others prefer a bouncier gait that lifts them out of the saddle or a brisk canter that brings excitement.

Paying attention to these physical preferences helps us see where a rider might need extra support or time to adjust when riding a different horse.

3. Skill and Training Compatibility

The horse’s training level and responsiveness can deeply influence preference. Beginners often favor horses who forgive mistakes and make them feel successful. More advanced riders may enjoy horses that respond more precisely, or horses that ask more questions and challenge them.

When a rider’s ability and a horse’s training align, learning flows naturally. When they’re mismatched, frustration can set in — for either partner. Horses who quietly compensate for a rider’s weaker areas, or help them succeed through challenges, often earn a special place in that rider’s heart.

The “perfect match” balances safety and achievable challenge — supporting both confidence and progression.

4. Connection, Familiarity, and Growth

Some rider–horse pairs just click. Their communication feels effortless, their personalities complement each other, and they intuitively understand one another’s rhythms.

Time together also strengthens connection. Grooming, tacking up, and consistent rides all build familiarity — and with that comes predictability and trust. Shared success and positive experiences reinforce attachment. Riders often prefer horses who make them feel safe, capable, and understood — not just in one lesson, but across time.

Past experiences can also play a role. A horse that reminds a rider of a beloved partner from the past — in personality, movement, or appearance — can spark an emotional bond that feels instantly meaningful.

Stronger relationships blossom over time with a collection of positive experiences.

Putting It Into Practice

Understanding why riders prefer certain horses is more than an interesting observation — it’s a valuable tool.

When we pay attention to horse preferences, we can:

• Better connect with our riders.
• Match them with horses who support confidence and skill growth.
• Anticipate challenges when they ride someone new.
• Foster opportunities for attachment, trust, and meaningful progress.
• Better prepare our riders to ride other horses.

When we understand why a rider prefers a specific horse, we’re better equipped to support them — not just with that favorite, but with every partner they ride.

Just Remember

Our goal is to create riders who can ride a variety of horses but there’s no need to belittle their preferences along the way. Those preferences are windows into how our riders feel safe, capable, and connected. With that information we better learn how to support them in their journey. When we honor them, we build not just better riders, but better horsemen and horsewomen.

Always Value Connection