You want to connect with riders, but some feel unsure how to start a conversation with someone who communicates or moves differently I want to help you!

The truth is — connection starts the same way for everyone: with respect, curiosity, and warmth.

Here are a few tips to make those first moments count!

Tips for Building Connection

Start with a warm smile
Facial expressions are key to open engagement. A smile says, “I see you, and I’m glad you’re here.”

Speak directly to the individual
Make a point to speak directly with the individual. While you may need to rely on support of a caregiver you should still make a point to talk to the individual.

Introduce yourself and make a connection
Try: “Hi, I’m Taylor — I help out in the barn. I love being around the horses. I’m excited to see you ride today!”
Even a simple introduction paired with a shared interest builds comfort and trust.

Be mindful of your body placement
If the person is much shorter than you or uses a wheelchair, try sitting or kneeling to be at their level. This creates a more natural, comfortable conversation.

Match their eye contact style
If they return your eye contact, great! If they look away, don’t force it — look where they’re comfortable. Keep that warm, open expression but you can have successful communication without direct eye contact.

Use their preferred communication style
Some people use gestures, communication boards, or devices. Follow their lead and stay flexible — communication takes many forms. Be curious to learn and adapt to communicate with them in their preferred form.

Parallel when possible
Engage side-by-side or with a shared focus, like walking to the arena or brushing a horse together. Parallel interactions often feel safer and more natural than face-to-face conversation.

Allow time for response
Extra time is okay! Don’t rush or stack questions. Pause, wait, and give them space to process and respond.

Proximity and reciprocation
Observe their reactions to understand their comfort zone. Some people prefer more distance; others enjoy closeness or contact. Reciprocal actions like passing objects and high fives can be really helpful in building connection!

Speak clearly and confidently
Use a friendly, natural tone — not louder or slower unless needed. Confidence helps others feel at ease.

 

Mindful Language — Lead with Intent

Many volunteers worry about saying the “wrong” thing. That’s okay — it comes from a good place.

Instead of striving for perfect words, focus on your intent.
Approach each interaction with positive intentions and genuine curiosity.

General guidlines:
1. Focus on the PERSON not the disability
2. Focus on the things they CAN DO
3. Believe in their ability 

When you come from a place of humanity, respect, and caring, people — and their families — will recognize that and appreciate your efforts.
Connection isn’t about flawless phrasing; it’s about kindness and openness.

 

When in Doubt, Start Small

You don’t always need to ask questions to start a conversation. In fact, direct questions can sometimes feel intimidating for some individuals—especially those with anxiety-related diagnoses or limited verbal communication skills.

Start with a low-demand invitation that builds rapport while giving the person space to share if they choose.

Try making observations, sharing what you notice, or talking about the shared environment:

1. Make observations instead of asking questions
❌ “Do you like horses?”
✅ “That horse has such a shiny coat — it looks like he was groomed really well.”

2. Share what you notice
❌ “Is this your first lesson?”
✅ “I noticed you’re wearing shiny, clean riding boots — looks like we have matching shoes today, except yours are way cleaner than mine!”

3. Express your own thoughts or feelings
❌ “Are you having fun?”
✅ “I’m having so much fun watching everyone ride!”

4. Comment on the shared environment
❌ “How are you today?”
✅ “It’s such a nice day for lessons — days like this make me feel energized.”

These approaches invite connection without pressure — giving space for the person to join in, respond in their own way, or simply enjoy being part of the moment.

 

Figure Out Their Interests

Seek to identify their interests. This might come from parents, caregivers, siblings — or simply by observing what draws their attention.

Notice where their focus goes:
Are they watching the horses, playing in the sand, or following the barn cat? Are they coloring or humming a tune?
Start with curiosity about their world — those details are doorways to connection.

 

Believe in Their Ability

Every person, regardless of ability, has strengths, interests, and ways of connecting. Look for them.
Communication isn’t only verbal — body language, smiles, gestures, and shared experiences all count.

Conversations aren’t about saying the perfect thing.
They’re about the back-and-forth exchange — however it happens — that builds trust and connection.